POEMS ABOUT POEMS
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The Hobby for Me
By Jonathan Sellars
I tried running, then rowing,
Then javelin throwing,
But they weren’t the hobbies for me,
I tried sculpting, then baking,
Then matchstick boat making,
But they weren’t the hobbies for me,
I tried dancing, then singing,
Then tubular bell ringing,
But they weren’t the hobbies for me,
I tried ten types of collecting,
Then metal detecting,
But they weren’t the hobbies for me,
I tried knitting, then kiting,
Then poetry writing,
And that was the hobby for me.
HOW SLOW CAN YOU GO?
By Jonathan Sellars
Read this poem sloooowly,
Just. Like. A. Tortoise. Might.
And if it takes you half a day
That means you’ve read it right,
Pretend that it’s a reading race
Where last place wins the gold,
Pretend that you’re a sluggish snail
Who’s very, veeeery old,
Imagine every word
Is
a
sloth
that
likes
to
creep,
But don’t read it tooo sloooowly
Or you might just fall aslee-
Zzzzzzzzzzz
The Poet, The Poem, and The Conveniently Named
By Jonathan Sellars
“Poetry is hard, it’s even harder when it rhymes.”
That’s what I was told by my old teacher Mrs Limes.
She said, “I’ve got one tip for you.” She said, “You’ve got to aim
To always give your characters the most convenient name.
A poet can waste lifetimes in the search for perfect rhyme,
So names that rhyme with subject matter save you so much time.
“For example, if the poem’s on the Franco-Prussian war,
Why not feature First-Lieutenant Paul-Patrice Le Core?
While if it’s on the fossils found in petrifying wood
I advise you have an expert with the name Professor Hood.
When writing little ditties on the Central Asian vole
Perhaps include two siblings known as Bill and Betty Cole.
And sonnets on the hornet-crested-speckled hummingbird
Would work so well with someone called Mick Mickelmick the Third.
For wigs use Chad de Biggs, for bees use Chad de Keys,
For water-borne disease I’d use a Chad de Van Der Tweeze.”
And then she quoted someone by the name of A.B. Booth,
“It’s the right of every poet to manipulate the truth.”
And the truth is that in fact I had no teacher Mrs Limes,
Her name was Gronkanpurple, but that doesn’t rhyme with rhymes.
POETRY’S LIKE VOMIT
By Jonathan Sellars
Poetry’s like vomit,
I just can’t keep it in.
It just starts spewing out of me from somewhere deep within.
And just like vomit is,
My poetry’s a guide,
To all the many things that I’ve got going on inside.
Plus, most people don’t like vomit.
And you know what? I agree.
I haven’t liked a lot of poems vomited on me.
But, the main point of this metaphor,
(That some of you might spot),
Is there’s poetry in all of us, like it, or like it not.
It could be nothing more
Than just a line or two of rhyme,
Or a collection of the thoughts that pass your way from time to time.
It might be painful memories
Of the days when you’ve felt low,
When words provided refuge when you had nowhere to go.
It may even be nonsense,
Made up tales of made up places,
Stories with no purpose but for putting smiles on faces.
Now, you’re welcome to ignore me,
Or just shrug, “So what? Don’t care.”
But trust me, have a look inside, you’ll find some poems there.
You can share them, you can hide them, you can throw them in the bin,
But remember,
Poetry’s like vomit,
It’s better out than in.
A Poem Is A Part Of You
By Jonathan Sellars
A poem is a part of you,
The question is,
Which part?
For some
Their precious words
Are broken
Fragments
Of their
Heart.
While others
Share the thoughts
That swirl
Around inside their head,
Thoughts they can’t contain,
That will not go unsaid.
But me
I guess I’m different,
I’m silly,
Foolish,
Dumb,
My poems are the parts of me
That plop out of my bum.